Coping with Grief milestones

by rodney on August 26, 2013

Sydney-grief-counselling-how-to-deal-with-the-loss-of-a-partnerAs I’m writing this, it is my Mums birthday. This is a significant day for me for 2 reasons. 1. This is the first birthday after my Mums death last year and 2, this is the last of a number of milestones surrounding her death.

When we grieve, these milestones are important as they are a reminder of how different your life will be. They also signify how far you’ve come through your journey. For me, this last milestone of the first, whatever, without Mum means that I have been through the first year and the years that follow will be easier than the first.

These milestones, as important as they are, can be hard to get through, but it is not impossible. During my year long journey, I went through a variety of emotions and have discovered things you can do to help deal with the grief and pain associated with these milestones.

Here are 5 things you can to cope with grief at these times:

Acknowledge

The first step you need to is acknowledge that a milestone is approaching and acknowledge that it can be difficult.  Many people attempt to ignore these events and are surprised when suddenly grief hits them out of the blue unexpectedly. By acknowledging what’s about to happen and how you may deal with it allows you to plan how to cope

Plan

You need to plan and know how you will cope with the milestone that’s coming up. By pre-planning, you can focus on getting through the day and not worry about not coping. Think back to previous milestones and identify what helped getting through them. Identify what you can do to help you feel better and also what resources you can utilise that will help.

Reach out

Milestones can highlight feelings of lonliness, especially when you try to cope by isolating yourself from the rest of the world. Reach out to those around you and let them know that it’s a tough day and allow them to support you. Surrounding yourself with people is the best way to combat loneliness.

Celebrate

Celebrate the life of the one you have lost. This person was in your life for a reason and they have had a tremendous impact on your life. Celebrate that they touched you in this way. Celebrating a person after they have died helps to add to their legacy, it is this legacy that will help to keep that person alive in your soul.  +

Reflect

Reflect on the journey you’ve taken so far. Milestones are a great opportunity for such reflection as they help you to acknowledge the time that has passed. Focus on what you’ve done to cope on your journey and reinforce the strength it has built. Be proud that you’ve made it this far.

If you are struggling with greif, consider seeking professional help.

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