Dealing with disappointment.

by rodney on September 9, 2013

Head in HandsMany things that happen in our life are things that are simply out of control. Many of those are also things that we don’t want to happen. That is the nature of life. The reason why the phrase “shit happens” is that we can all relate to it.

Whether it is losing a job, having relationships end, an economic crisis, or even an election not going the way we want, these things have happened before and will happen again and usually there’s not much we can do about it.

Despite these disappointments and setbacks, what we must remember that it is not the end of the world. We all have the ability to get back up and carry on. It is this ability that separates the “winners” from the “losers”.

But just how can we do that when it seems like everything around us is going to hell? Here are 3 things you can do to help you deal with disappointments and move forward like a winner!

Find a meaning

I’m one of those people that believe everything happens for a reason. I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe that the things that happen to us happen because it is supposed to shape our lives in some way or another.  Finding reasons for the disappointments that happen helps me to accept that things haven’t worked out. When we accept things as oppose to resist them, we are more likely to be happier and cope better.

Don’t think in terms of good or bad

When things happen, we tend to put labels on them so we can process and interpret them. One label we tend to use for everything is good and bad. The downside to this is we then react according to these labels. When we label something as bad, we see on the negatives which help us feel disheartened, helpless, angry and negative. Likewise, when we label something as good, we see all the positive aspect and sometimes miss the negative aspects that will come along with it. Good and bad is not actually a natural concept, it is man-made. When animals are faced with situations, they think in terms of consequences.  If we were to stop judging events as good or bad and instead focus on the consequences, we will be able to see solutions and opportunities more clearly.

Look at what you can control

Most of what happens to us is beyond our control. When we have no control over what happens to us, we feel disempowered and take no responsibility for ourselves. No matter is out of our control there is always something that is in our control. Focusing on those things that we can control will empower you and keep you accountable for your own actions.

Disappointments happen to everyone. They don’t have to hold us back from being happy. By changing the way you look at disappointment and focusing on what you can control, you be able to deal with disappointments better and spend more time being happy than miserable. If you’re having a difficult time dealing with disappointments, consider professional help.


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