Mid-life crisis at 30

by rodney on November 11, 2013

midlife crisis in your 30sHaving entered my 30’s two years ago, I’ve spoken to a lot people in my age group and a few older people about life as a 30 year old. Out of all those conversations, one thing has struck me, at 30, you go through a sort of mid-life crisis.

I’ve discovered that at 30 people tend to start thinking about and evaluating their life, especially where they are and where they’re going.  This tends to bring on some anxiety and panic as suddenly, people believe that time is running out.

This is what happened to me. I began to look at my life and the lives of people around me. I was 30 and I was still unmarried, didn’t have kids and don’t own property when everyone around me was getting married, buying houses, having families. I felt like I was getting left behind and I felt like a failure.

That’s when I began to talk to others about their experience and I was relieved to discover that I wasn’t alone.  At 30, everyone was worried about something, either not having that family and wanting one or having a family and not being able to travel and do awesome stuff like us without kids do.  Many people felt this lack of accomplishment combined with the pressure of running out of time.

So, now I had discovered that I wasn’t alone and that it is normal to experience this crisis at 30, what can we do about it? How can we cope and move on without doing something drastic and making huge mistakes?  Well, it took me a while and at times I still tend to struggle with it, but here are 5 things you can to help you successful navigate your way through your 30s mid-life crisis.

List your accomplishments

Whatever you feel you haven’t done or may be missing out on, you have still made some awesome accomplishments that you’re not giving enough credit to. Whether you have built a fantastic career, travelled to some amazing places or had experiences most people only dream about you have accomplished many things that are special and worthwhile. List these accomplishments without judgement and be proud of what you have achieved so far.

List what you want

Now that you are feeling better about what you have done with your life thus far, now it is to get clear about what you want in life from now on. It could be anything, family, money, travel, a business, freedom, awesome life style, whatever you want, write it all down. And don’t feel guilty about wanting “everything”. It is not greedy to after all the things you want in life despite what anyone else says. If you want it and work for it, you deserve it.

Know that you have time

30 is not as old as it used to be 50 years ago. At 30, you still have enough time to do plenty of the things you want to do include have kids, change careers, open a business, travel, whatever! 30 is not old, in fact age is really only a state of mind. Many people didn’t find success until they were in their 30’s or even older. Harrison Ford was 30 by the time he scored the role of Han Solo in Star Wars- the role that made famous. The Wright Brothers were 36 and 32 years old when they invented the aeroplane and Colonel Sanders was in his 60’s when he figured out secret blend of 11 herbs and spices.

Don’t compare yourself to others

It is so common that we compare ourselves to those around us and use that as a measuring stick of success. This used to be called “Keeping up with the Joneses” but these days it is a sure way to wind up unfulfilled, depressed and unhappy. You need to define for yourself what success is and go for that. A mentor of mine once said “the grass is not greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water it”. You’ll actually be surprised if you realised that the people you’re jealous of having what you don’t have are also jealous of you because you have what they don’t.

Stop, and smell the roses

The trouble with only thinking about what you don’t have yet is it is future focused, meaning, you’re ignoring the present. Even when you achieve what you want, if you have a future only focused mindset, you will never enjoy what you have currently achieved as you’ll always be looking into the future. By allowing yourself to stop and smell the roses, ie take some time and appreciate what you have now in the present, you will relieve a lot of the stress and anxiety you feel and you will feel content for what you have done while allowing yourself to focus on goals you still want to achieve.

At 30, your life is not half over. You still have more years ahead of you than you have behind and you still have plenty of time to do everything you want to do. If you’re having trouble dealing with a crisis at any age, consider seeking professional help.

 

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