Orlando and Miranda: A typical Hollywood love story

by rodney on October 28, 2013

counselling in sydneySo Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are the latest in a very, very long line of Hollywood couples to call it quits.  Even though they have been separated for several months, they have decided to formally end their 6 year marriage (6 years in a Hollywood couple is considered to be a good innings, well done!)

Divorce is as big a part of Hollywood as Movies, Oscars paparazzi and drug fuelled overdoses. Mega stars such as Tom Cruise (divorced 3 times), Madonna (divorced twice) James Cameron (divorced 4 times) and Elizabeth Taylor (divorced 8 times) and only a few names on the bottom of countless divorce contracts in LA legal records.

So why is it that many celebrities can’t keep a marriage together?  Is it a case of two massive egos unable to coexist in the same relationship? Is it because they were all marriages of convenience to begin with and were all doomed from the start? Is it because they are already rich and famous enough this is a way life is punishing them?

I believe, despite the numerous reasons each couple has for divorce, the fundamental reason why celebrity couples divorce is their lifestyle doesn’t enable them to work on their marriage. Many celebrities spend months away from home and away from their families that opportunities to put the work needed for a successful marriage is affected and as a result, couples drift further apart.

So, what is it can we learn from celebrities? How can we avoid the multiple divorces that Hollywood A -listers seem to face? Here are just three things you can do work on your marriage.

Continuous learning

Just because you get married doesn’t mean you know it all. In order to keep working on your marriage, you need to keep learning.  You can start by reading many of the thousands of books out there about relationships and personal development. You can also attended workshops and courses and even regular sessions with a relationship counsellor or coach will also help you to learn and improve your relationship.  Without learning more and more about yourself and your partner, you will fail to improve and eventually grow apart.

Have a daily action list

Each day, write out an action list of things you can do for your partner that will have a positive impact on your relationship. It doesn’t have to be too many, 5 or so will be good and these can be small things such as take out garbage, listen while your partner talks about their day or telling them “I love you” or they can be big such as giving your partner an unforgettable experience. Once you have made your action list then you have to do it. In fact, this is the most important aspect to working on your marriage, do it- take action. All the knowledge and theory is useless unless you do it.

Spend quality time together

Spending time together is important. It is in these times that you build your bond with one another and learn about each other.  During this time it needs to be just the two of you, no kids or family, and you must be spending quality time together. It could be sharing an experience, doing something together or even just talking, not mindlessly watching TV. I believe the minimum amounts of quality time you need to spend with each other are 1 hour a day, 1 weekend a month and 1 week a year. This is a great time to add to your relationship bank account.

If you’re having trouble working on your relationship, consider seeking professional counselling to help get you back on track.

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