Why you should have a shared vision

by Rodney on January 21, 2015

Shared-VisionWhy you should have a shared vision

I want to share with you a personal story.

Several years ago, I met a girl and we hit it off immediately. From the first time we met, there was obvious chemistry. We spent hours talking to each other, we enjoyed spending time with other and love quickly blossomed.

We dated for a while and our bond grew stronger. I saw my future and she was in it. I saw it all, marriage, kids, house in the suburbs of Sydney and I liked that vision. I was planning my ideal future with her and I was happy.

Needless to say, when she, out of the blue, ended our relationship, I was heartbroken. The reason why she broke it off was the vision. She had a much different one to the one I had. She saw herself living in the country, on a farm with sheep and cows.

I hated the country and she hated the city.

But it didn’t end there. We got back together several months later after I had a near death experience.  Our romance began all over again and this time I was convinced it would work, after all, we shared an extraordinary experience that had created a bond that I didn’t think could be broken. During this time she even moved to the country and we began a long distance relationship, talking for hours on the phone and seeing each other on weekends.

In all honesty, I was waiting for her to come back. I still had my vision and eventually realised if we were ever going to work out, I’d have to abandon my vision and find a place in hers.

So it ended for good.

This is why it is important that couples have a shared vision. A vision is where you are heading, like a destination on a car trip. If two people are in the same car, they need to be heading to the same place. Without a shared vision, 1 of two things will happen, either someone will abandon their vision and dreams for the other person, which could lead to resentment or you will eventually drift apart.

To have a shared vision, you both need to answer some pretty important questions like :

  • What do I want from my life/ what’s important to me?
  • Where do I want to live and what lifestyle do I want?
  • What work is going to fulfil me?
  • Do I want kids and if so how many?
  • If my vision doesn’t match up with my partners, what am I willing to give up and compromise on?
  • Will I be happy if I give up or change any of my vision?

I hear people say to me all the time, “I don’t want to end the relationship because I love them”. Sometimes, love isn’t enough. If you live with a vision that you don’t like for the sake of your partner, resentment can grow and it could cost you your relationship anyway. Have a talk and create a vision you both desire.

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