The 3 most important conversations you’ll ever have

by rodney on September 30, 2013

conversationsOpen conversations with our partners, family and friends are important. They let us share feelings and thoughts, they help us to process events and make sense of the world, they help us assert ourselves and they help us find the answers to questions that influence our lives.

These conversations must be honest. That doesn’t just mean telling the truth. It means allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Letting someone into your world by allowing them to experience your feelings, hear your desires and accept your flaws.

Most of us don’t let ourselves be open in this way, especially with those most important to us. All too often we hold back on sharing our dreams and our fears, or we hide our emotions by telling people we’re fine when we’re not.

I understand that doing this opens us up rejection and ridicule and so it’s easier to stay in this comfort zone. The problem is we’re not being honest with ourselves or with others and we miss out on having our own needs fulfilled and receiving the support we need to grow.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you need to be open and vulnerable with everyone you talk to or in every conversation you have. However, you will need to open yourself up these 3 important conversations you need to have with the 3 most important people in your life:

Family

When I say family, I’m talking about parents, your children, siblings etc. There is a special section for your partner next. Your family is important because they are the ones who accept you. No matter what you do, whether you choose a different path from them, you make a mistake or even follow in their footsteps; they will accept and support you no matter what. The most important conversations to have with your family are the ones which reinforce this purpose.

These could be telling them what they mean to you or that you’re proud of what they’ve done, encouraging them to follow their dreams or revealing to them your true self.

Partner

We have so many conversations that we have with our partners every day. At the time they seem important. When you get down to it, you’ll see often just how unimportant those things are, especially when you begin to fight about them. I’m not saying don’t have them, but don’t let them influence your life. The most important conversations you’ll have, the ones that do influence your life and that you have to be open and vulnerable about are the ones that help you move your relationship to that next level. No matter where you’re at, there is always a next level to take your relationship. There’s always a deeper commitment, a greater level of understanding and a more powerful connection can be made.

Questions to answer in these conversations include Do we get married, do we have kids/more kids, do we break up, how can we make things better, what do we want from each other, what can give to each other? These answers will help to move your relationship to the next level.

Yourself

You may think it’s weird that I’ve added yourself in here, but you are the most important person in your life, I don’t care who else you have. We never value conversations we have with ourselves, but we need to have them. This is how we get in touch with our deepest desires and our deepest fears. These conversations will lead to a greater self-understanding and self-acceptance, which is powerful. The most important conversations you need to have with yourself are the ones that connect you to your higher purpose or your life’s mission.  You do this by finding the answers to questions such as what do I want to achieve, what impact do I want to make, what is my life’s purpose, am I happy doing what I’m doing and how can I make the world a better place.

What conversations are you currently having? Who are you having them with? Have you realised something you need to say? Whatever it is, say it with openness and vulnerability.

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