The 3 most important things I’ve learned about successful relationships

by rodney on June 9, 2014

happy-coupleI grew up mostly in a single parent household. My parents divorced each other when I was really young and therefore, I barely have any memory of my parents being together. When I was growing up, my Mum, whom I lived with, never dated so I had no model to look to when it came to being in a relationship.

When I turned 18, I started dating and getting into relationships and it felt, in a way, like I was flying blind and had to figure out a way to form and create successful relationships myself. While most of it was trail and error, I have also been fortunate enough to have learned a lot of theory through my counselling training and I have learned a lot working with couples whose relationships are on the rocks.

While I still have a lot to learn and I hope I never stop learning, here are 3 of the most important things I have learned about successful relationships

It takes work

We’ve all heard the phrase “and they lived happily ever after” in countless fairy tales while growing up. It troubles me how many people actually expect this to be true. Many people, once they have settled and are comfortable in their relationship stop working on their relationship. This is when relationships get off track and problems start to come to the surface. Maintain your relationship by constantly learning new ways of improving your relationship, spending time together working on your relationship and if need be visit your local relationship counsellor for a tune up.

You need to communicate

Communication is the key to all relationships. It is about sending messages to others. Not only will communicating help to you forge intimacy and grow closer but it will also help you to see problems coming in the future and solve them. There are many books, courses programs and resources out there to help you improve your communication, find some that’ll work for you, learn and apply.

You need to learn from what doesn’t work out

For many of us, relationships end. Sometimes they end for the right reasons, and sometimes they don’t. The important thing to remember is that the end of a relationship does not nessercarily mean failure. I’ve had relationships that I’ve considered to be successful that have ended. Instead, look at the end of a relationship as a learning experience. With every relationship you have, you learn vital things about yourself and relationships that you can take with you into your next relationship. Sit down and make a list of what went right, what can be done better and what do you want to be different in your next relationship. Also look at your ex-partner and take note of what qualities you admired, what qualities you didn’t and what you need from your next one.

While I admit there’s many more lessons that I could have mentioned, these are the ones I’ve applied to my most successful relationships, including my current one. As a result I find that with every relationship I have, I’m getting closer to the relationship that I need.

Share the Love
Get Free Updates

Previous post:

Next post: