The Secret to a long lasting relationship

by rodney on April 14, 2014

happy-coupleSomething amazing happened to me last weekend.  I had 2 separate conversations with 2 different friends about the same subject.  We were discussing what makes a good and a bad relationship.

We looked at relationships around us that worked well and most importantly looked at ones which crashed and burned horribly and we were able to see patterns and similarities that made relationships successful and what caused them to fail.

In successful relationships both individuals are on the same page and heading in the same direction, whereas couples who are heading in opposite directions are doomed to fail.

I’m not talking about couples needing similar interests or to be carbon copies of each other. Individuality and independence are still important in a relationship. There are only a few key areas that couples need to agree on in order to grow and thrive.


Couples need similar goals. Think of goals as a travel destination you want to visit. If you and your partner don’t have similar destinations, you’ll either stand still while argue about where to go or you’ll end up apart in very different destinations.

This doesn’t mean you can’t have your individual goals; you need them as much as you need goals as a couple.  Get together with your partner and using your individual goals as a starting point; develop a list of goals you both want to achieve as a couple.


Values are important as they act as your moral compass. They help you to make decisions about your life. If your values are not in alignment with your partners, your moral compass will send you in different directions.

You need to sit down with your partner and conduct a values audit and prioritise these values in order of importance to you.


This is an area where many couples fall into trouble. There are so many areas of parenting that you need to see eye to eye on that couples just don’t realise until they have kids and by then it’s potentially too late. You need to find out where your partner stands ideally before you have kids.

Areas of parenting you should address include whether or not you want kids, what belief system you want to raise your kids under, how to discipline your children, which schools they will go to and whether one parent will stay home or if both will work.

If you find that you and your partner are on a different page, you can seek professional counselling to help you come back together.

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